I used to be a thin person in a fat person's body... Now I'm a not so fat person fighting the fatty inside!

My blog posts are my thoughts and feelings in the ongoing struggle to maintain an arse that fits in a size 12 pair of jeans.

Sunday, 15 April 2012

On the wagon once again!

So I'm well and truly back on the WW wagon! Managed a few days up until Easter without too many wobbles, then over Easter weekend things went a little (a lot) wrong. 2 Easter eggs wrong. And a bottle of wine, pizza, kettle chips, chocolate raisins and muffins! Oh, and an amazing hotel breakfast which included a pain au chocolat, about 6 pieces of toast and some very yummy and very buttery scrambled egg with smoked salmon. Although we also went for a meal at Prezzo and I had a salad, so unbelievably it could have been even worse!!

So, after that horrendous weekend I kicked myself up the bum and got back on ProPoints on Tuesday morning. I have a lovely shiny new Journal (a 12 week tracker basically) which gives me some sad little satisfaction to fill in! Also managed a night out last night and didn't go over my planned points, so I still have 18 weeklies left to get me to Thursday (the end of my week - Thursday seemed the safest day to weigh!).

This week I have mostly been eating:
Breakfast
Tinned peaches/pineapple, drained, with a tablespoon of Morrisons Eat Smart low fat natural yogurt (1pp) and 20g of muesli (2pp)
Toast (4pp) with a poached egg (2pp), mushrooms and tomatoes

Lunch
Salad with butternut squash and tuna (2pp) with a tsp of light mayo

Dinner
Quorn fillets (4pp) with a tsb of pesto (1pp) with salad
A seriously yummy thai green curry (recipe from the WW website) which was 6pp (we swapped chicken for white fish which reduced the pp value) with 40g rice (4pp)
Pitta pizzas made from a pitta bread (6pp) spread with a little tomato puree, a tsp of pesto (1pp) and a light Babybel cheese grated on the top (1pp). Also put some cooked mushrooms, courgette, peppers and red onion on there and then grilled until it went crispy round the edges. Very yummy!

I have eaten tons of fruit too - really like that fruit is now 0pp. Also been munching WW cookies (2pp) and WW jaffa mini rolls (2pp).

Pitta pizzas and thai green curry were the highlight of the week I think - I'd recommend both!

And that's all I have to say about that. Am enjoying ProPoints more than my initial attempt last year, and sneaky weigh in on my scales is showing a loss, so will stick with it until Thursday and hope for a good loss. Friday we are off to Norwich for the weekend so I'll be well and truly off the wagon whilst away. Lets hope I can jump straight back on next Tuesday!

I feel this post was a little dull - I am perhaps uninspired due to the horrendous hangover I've been suffering today! Will try to make my next post a little more exciting, promise!

Wednesday, 28 March 2012

And I'm back!

Ok. I'm rubbish. 9 months since I last posted. Ouch.

9 months and roughly 9lb coincidentally!

Yes, I have gained some weight. And I'm gutted. Life distracted me from dieting. More specifically, self medicating through some difficult times with wine distracted me!

Anyway. Here I am. After 10 days on a high protein diet which promised to make me tone up fast I've lost no weight and no inches. So, as I've no patience and am hating the size of my bum I'm biting the bullet and getting back on WW. ProPoints, which is still a new frontier for me, but my mum has recently done it and told me the daily points have now reduced to 26, which seems better, so I'm giving it another go.

Start tomorrow morning, so I'll try and blog about it over the next few days.

My goals are:
Get back to target and a little beyond - I am currently 11st 11lb. Goal is 11st 2lb officially and I am aiming for 10st 13lb (my personal favourite weight).
Get back in my size 10/12 dresses and jeans comfortably.
Get where I want to be by 1 July.

So, I have sensible, achievable targets. Once I've seen the first couple of pounds come off I may feel happier, so please people, DON'T LET ME GIVE UP!!

Thanks for reading this far, I appreciate all the support I can get.

Smiles and positive dieting thoughts!!

Hannah x

Friday, 3 June 2011

Back on track :)

Hello bloggers :)

I've been rather absent recently - I've been struggling with life, maintenance and exercise - finding the balance after leaving home has been hard.

But, I think I might be getting somewhere now. Thank goodness for exams.

Don't look at me like I'm a bit mental - there's method in the madness! I've got exams next week for the qualifications I'm taking through work and I've had this week off work and have next week too. And I'm back on "vintage" points. I struggled with ProPoints - mainly because I don't really struggle with binging or letting one slip knock me off balance - I know that an hour in the gym or running will generally fix the mistake if it's kept under control. I can totally appreciate that for those people that struggle with exactly these diet problems will do fantastically on ProPoints, but for me simplicity may well be the key.

After 4 days on VP the scales are treating me well (I know I shouldn't get on there every day but at the moment it's a good motivator!) and I've high hopes for weigh in next week. With only 6lb to shift to get back to my ideal weight I've got my fingers crossed it'll only take 3 or 4 weeks! And as I've not been at work fitting the exercise in has been blissfully easy again - it's the only thing I miss about being a student!

On that note, I tried to embrace the phenomenon of morning running today. I dragged myself out of bed at 6:25am, and out of the house at 7am after snaffling a banana. At approximately 7:06am I wished I hadn't bothered. And by 8am I was ready to crash. I managed 4.7 miles (not an achievement!) in an hour (very slow) but I did it and earned some nice shiny bonus points which I'll be taking to the coffee shop with me later!

Another, somewhat related, advance is that I've signed up to run the Chippenham Half Marathon on 11 September. I can currently  run 7 miles. It's 13 for the half. And I've got... 14 weeks til the big day. So that's fine. 8 miles is the target for next weekend I think.

So there we go. That's me at the moment! Still here, still maintaining (or thereabouts!) and still looking for ways to get rid of those flipping wobbly bits!!

Although, for anyone in the same situation as me - 1 year on the wobbly bits are less wobbly, my skin is looking better and my tummy has improved from needing to be tucked in to now just resembling a bit of a paunch! This is an improvement, believe me! I have high hopes that in a couple of years I'll have a body resembling some famous fabulous woman, but for now I'll be wobbling round the streets in the pursuit of the perfect bum and washboard abs!

Keep smiling :)

Sunday, 27 March 2011

A little reminder of how far I've come - and how hard we all find it sometimes.

Today my Mum and Dad popped round and my Mum brought a photo of me and her from a few years ago. Her exact words... "I've found a photo that will make you cringe!!" Yeah, it was that bad.

I've just been on the WW boards having a little look round and saw a post which said "I'm ready to be thin now".

I remember saying that too.

"I've tried so hard, for such a long time, so why aren't I thin yet?"

If you've read my biog on here then you'll know it took me two long years to reach goal (after years of failed attempts before) and I never thought I'd get there. No one thought I'd get there to be honest. Both John and my Mum have admitted they never really thought I'd do it. But then why would they? I'd failed so many times before. If I thought about getting to goal myself I didn't really think I'd get that far. I dealt with it one step at a time - a stone or half a stone as a target - because if I'd have thought about it as 4 and a half stone from the beginning it would have seemed completely unachievable.

So now I wish there was some way to show everyone struggling why they should keep going, keep fighting and get where they want to be. There's no way to put into words how much losing the weight changed me. It was like I was locked inside myself because of my size - without any confidence and always wishing to be someone else. Every morning I wake up and can't feel that fog of sadness around me anymore I am grateful.

I know not everyone feels this way about themselves, but I want anyone that does to know that if your weight is the reason then you can find the strength to change yourself. I really hope I don't sound patronising - I'm basing this on the way I felt at my heaviest and so many times when I just wanted to give up and comfort eat it all away.

Please don't give up. The hardest thing is to keep going, but if you can be strong and achieve your goal it could change your life in more ways than you'd ever expect.

Keep smiling :)

xxx 

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

ProPoints - the new frontier!

This is Day 4 of ProPoints and so far so good :)

Went back to weigh in last night and am an expected 7.5lb above the weight I would like to be. I am, luckily, still within those lovely 5lb above goal so am technically still gold, but as I like to be weighing a little less than goal I wasn't best pleased.

My saving graces so far have been Options hot chocolate at 1 point a go and which I always keep a sachet of in my handbag, and carrying fruit around with me everywhere for sudden attacks of the munchies has also been useful!

First couple of days were super difficult but today has been the easiest day so far and I'm hoping the trend will continue! I remember the first couple of days were always the hardest, even after a minor slip off plan, so I wasn't expecting things to be easy. I am glad it's not so difficult today though!

Cooked a yummy recipe last night that was shared on the WW forums - stuffed butternut squash. With Quorn mince instead of meat I made it just 2 points a serving! Brilliant as I'd been out for lunch with work and used 14 points on a Leggera pizza at Pizza Express - the seriously yummy prawn one!

So, top tip for today - Options hot chocolate! When the sugar cravings hit break out one of those! It's hot so it takes a while to drink which keeps you busy, and they actually taste chocolatey - something an apple simply cannot achieve!

Good luck to anyone pointing too - just remember, the sun is out but, if we are good little Weight Watchers, the muffin top needn't be!! :)

Monday, 21 March 2011

Bad, bad blogger!

Hello there girls and boys!

Ok, I'm sorry. I've been a rubbish blogger since the festivities of December distracted me from blogging and lured me into a vortex of chocolate and cake!

But, I am back! A nasty shock on the scales this weekend has well and truly kicked me up the preverbial and I am ready to take control again. Christmas, moving house and two indulgent weeks on a residential training course with endless cakes and biscuits has done half a stone of damage and if I don't shift them now I'm sure I'll end up piling a few more pounds back on too.

And I'm not prepared to let that happen!

So, ProPoints... hello! I started on the ProPoints plan yesterday and am going back to weigh in tomorrow evening to make sure I do this. The aim is 7lb in 5 weeks - oh, how simple, I hear you cry! Let's not speak too soon, I am, after all, a recovering chocoholic. Just because there are only measured amounts of chocolate in my cupboard it doesn't mean I won't black out whilst in the queue at Tesco and accidentally purchase a family size bag of Malteasers!

Already I'm finding it hard to stick to 29pps a day. Yesterday I did Combat and earned 9pps (really earned them - new Combat tracks = HARD!) and ate thre2 of those in addition to the 29 daily pps. Today I think I will also be two or three pps over, but then again three is better than 30. Must keep these things in perspective.

Finally, I will NOT, repeat... WILL NOT... let this rule my life. I will learn to make those better decisions a bit more often again, and I will get back to where I want to be. Then I will eat normally. I must resign myself to the fact that I have a somewhat obsessive personality and leave it at that! :)

On that note... here we go again! Let's hope I've got some tips and good news soon!

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Body Shock

Right, I'm afraid I'm going to have a rant.

So I'm off work this week preparing for and sitting exams. And therefore I'm back with my old friend daytime TV. Today both This Morning and Loose Women are discussing body image.

This Morning commissioned an investigation into body image and questioned 3000 women of different ages and sizes. Over 80% of women said they were unhappy with their body. See the video of their discussion with actress Shobna Gulati here: http://thismorning.itv.com/thismorning/life/womens-body-image-survey-results

And why are we unhappy with our bodies girls?

We all know why we feel less than lovely at times. Because we're comparing ourselves to perfection. I'm guilty of it now more than ever - if I have even the smallest glimpse of my wobbly bits under my clothes I am disappointed. Disappointed rather than devastated, mind you. Which is an improvement on how I used to feel, but definitely not how I imagined being slim. And that's all I am. Slim. Not perfect. And I realise now I never will be.

But I've got a serious complaint to make on this very issue. Not only do we have to contend with perfection, we now have to contend... with children. Take a look at this:






I was on www.very.co.uk looking for a dress at the weekend. I scrolled past this and actually thought I'd selected children's clothing as well.

How can women be expected to compare their bodies to that of a child?! It made me really angry and if I thought it would do any good I would have complained to very.co.uk. As it stands, I doubt they'd care.

Quite frankly, when we've this to contend with, how can we have a healthy body image? Comparing our bodies to those of very young adults is ridiculous. As far as I can see the only women on their website that actually look like women are those modelling their "plus size" range! And considering plus size models are only a size 12 to 14 we're clearly being given a skewed image even there.

Please comment on this below, I'd really like to know your opinions. Has the way you see your body changed through weight gain or loss? Are you happier with yourself or more critical now than before?

Thanks!
Hannah