I used to be a thin person in a fat person's body... Now I'm a not so fat person fighting the fatty inside!

My blog posts are my thoughts and feelings in the ongoing struggle to maintain an arse that fits in a size 12 pair of jeans.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Body Shock

Right, I'm afraid I'm going to have a rant.

So I'm off work this week preparing for and sitting exams. And therefore I'm back with my old friend daytime TV. Today both This Morning and Loose Women are discussing body image.

This Morning commissioned an investigation into body image and questioned 3000 women of different ages and sizes. Over 80% of women said they were unhappy with their body. See the video of their discussion with actress Shobna Gulati here: http://thismorning.itv.com/thismorning/life/womens-body-image-survey-results

And why are we unhappy with our bodies girls?

We all know why we feel less than lovely at times. Because we're comparing ourselves to perfection. I'm guilty of it now more than ever - if I have even the smallest glimpse of my wobbly bits under my clothes I am disappointed. Disappointed rather than devastated, mind you. Which is an improvement on how I used to feel, but definitely not how I imagined being slim. And that's all I am. Slim. Not perfect. And I realise now I never will be.

But I've got a serious complaint to make on this very issue. Not only do we have to contend with perfection, we now have to contend... with children. Take a look at this:

I was on www.very.co.uk looking for a dress at the weekend. I scrolled past this and actually thought I'd selected children's clothing as well.

How can women be expected to compare their bodies to that of a child?! It made me really angry and if I thought it would do any good I would have complained to very.co.uk. As it stands, I doubt they'd care.

Quite frankly, when we've this to contend with, how can we have a healthy body image? Comparing our bodies to those of very young adults is ridiculous. As far as I can see the only women on their website that actually look like women are those modelling their "plus size" range! And considering plus size models are only a size 12 to 14 we're clearly being given a skewed image even there.

Please comment on this below, I'd really like to know your opinions. Has the way you see your body changed through weight gain or loss? Are you happier with yourself or more critical now than before?


Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Every time I try to revise something exciting happens.

This time?

Only the video from the WW Fashion Show! Woop!

Literally just opened the book and this little link was brought to my attention!

Check it out:


In other news, I've been to my WW meeting tonight, lost 1lb despite the 2 weeks with days in London and everywhere else, which was good. Got the new ProPoints info but as I'm off to London again Thursday and Friday for my boyfriend's birthday I won't be giving it a go until next week. So I'll keep you posted on that.

In case I don't have time to post before Sunday, have a good weekend lovely followers! :)

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Cosmopolitan Magazine!

Two posts in one day, what's going on?

Well. Guess what?!

I'm in COSMO!!!!!

P.124, my weight loss "story"!!

I'm a bit excited.



Ok, so a very helpful Annie commented on my last post with a link to a very detailed article on the Weight Watchers points changes.


Seems to me the article is slightly biased towards WW, but then I am guilty of this myself, so we won't worry about that.

My initial reaction is that generally points values for foods have increased, as has the daily allowance which wouldn't really have much of an impact as they've changed together, but then if they've upped both what benefit is there to upping either?

Fruit is now zero points which is a good idea and seems to be to encourage people to choose healthier options over sugary snacks. Obviously this is beneficial to dieting as fibre will fill you up and sugar will just give you cravings and make you hungrier.

49 points a week for treats. 49 points. If we're assuming that points have approximately doubled that's 24.5 points a week (in current terms) to use on "treats". That's 4 bars of Dairy Milk a week. Currently I can just about fit one into my weekly points if I'm on 19 a day. I admit I do fit in what I would imagine will be classed as "treats", for example WW cookies and chocolate bars or dessert, but I also use my points on fruit. I guess some people just don't though.

So, I guess overall I can see that it's mostly a rebranding to move with the times. Apparently it's all off the back of the theory that calorie counting alone isn't good enough. But with that theory implying that eating wholegrain foods and fruit and vegetables will cause your body to burn more calories, why wasn't the Discover Plan good enough? Surely that's exactly the point of Filling Foods?

I think I will have to reserve judgement until I've tried it. I can see how it will work now at least, and I'm sure it will work well.

But, why fix what ain't broken?

Friday, 5 November 2010

Here I go again!

Well. Where to begin?!

I guess first of all I should explain where I've been and why there has been a distinct lack of blogging going on! I had the week in London training I mentioned in my last post which was stressful and not much fun thanks to a horrible, noisy hotel and a lack of people to make it interesting. Following that I had 3 weeks at work which were manic and involved a lot of financial rubbish that I couldn't get my head around at all. Then another week in London which was much more fun with lots more people and a nicer hotel. Met some lovely people and hopefully made some friends :). And finally this week I've had 3 days at work and another 2 days in London! Plus in between all that I've been to Wales, to the Peak District, and I believe at least once out on the town ;)

So there we go. It's been busy.

Now I know what you're all thinking... How the hell do you do all that on Weight Watchers?

Short answer... you don't.

I very quickly learned that breakfast and lunch in a hotel clocks up the points to unmanageable levels, and once you add on the dinner in a restaurant you've had it.

However. Jumping on my scales yesterday morning I was very pleased to discover that I was actually the same weight I was before that first week in London.

To be honest, dear followers, I have only a vague idea as to how this happened. If you've been reading my "tips" then I'm sure you can guess what has helped here. It's my favourite one of all... being SENSIBLE.

How boring it sounds.

Quite honestly I wasn't really that sensible at all. I had chocolate fudge cake, biscuits, ice cream, pizza, chips, muffins and croissants. I can only assume that my efforts to only eat half the cake (ignoring the confused looks from those I lunched with!), eating two biscuits a day rather than 6, having vanilla ice cream instead of cheesecake, and eating vegetarian pizza somehow helped?! The chips, muffins and croissants I have no idea about. And I did manage one Body Attack class which was immensely hard and after which I stuffed my face in Nandos!!

So, I might have got away with it (although I say might as I'm not entirely convinced I have yet). But to be quite honest I don't feel as if I have either. I feel wobbly. Well. More wobbly than usual!

In the past 14 days I've been to the gym only about 3 times. And my body isn't really happy about it. Tough luck because now I've got tons of revision to do as I've got exams in 3 weeks.

So back on points I will be going!

For 3 days anyway. Then I'm off to London again, for fun this time!

Oh dear.

Anyway. That's the catch up. Now lets get down to business.

I've heard a few things about WW changing their points. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I like the way it works now. One of the most concerning things I've heard is that the diet will be more like Slimming World. Given my history with that plan I don't welcome this! We will just have to wait and see what it really will entail. If anyone has an opinion on this please comment, I'd like to know a bit more about it but I've got Risk Management coming out my ears currently and haven't found the time to do any research ;).

To conclude, a tip, as is the tradition. Sitting in a room with nothing to do but listen whilst lectured to and eat every 90 minutes I desperately tried to find something to stop me reaching for the biscuits and sweets surrounding me, and this has inspired my tip for today. It's a fairly standard dieting trick, but when you're only eating out of boredom and just need something to do, it works.

Instead of nibbling, drink! Now, don't get too excited. I'm not recommending becoming an alcoholic. Personally I have developed a taste for fruit tea. Twinings Cranberry, Raspberry and something or other specifically (or not). A hot drink which contains no points can keep you busy for at least 30 minutes. Teabags which have the little string on them to fiddle with are particularly useful for keeping your hands away from the nibbles too!

Of course you can drink anything - 0 points options will work best in such a situation of course! But the trick is to stay distracted. Similarly, chewing gum can have the same effect, and the sweets you can buy at WW meetings and online for 1 point a box are also good - although don't eat too many of those because you'll have a poorly tummy soon after!

And that's it for now lovely people! I'm off to the hairdressers first thing tomorrow morning and I've no idea what I want doing, so I must decide! Oh, and I don't think I ever disclosed what my exciting thing I'd done was... I had my hair chopped off! Ok so it's not really short, but it's about half the length it used to be, which was a fairly big deal at the time!

Have a fabulous weekend if you've read this far, I'll try and post again on Sunday :)

Happy Bonfire Night too!

Saturday, 25 September 2010

And breathe....!

Well. What a rubbish blogger I have been.

But, to be quite honest with you, since I last posted I don't feel like I've stopped to breathe. Although strangely I found time to eat...!

After two weeks on training courses, a week on a cruise with a 24 hour buffet, and two weeks battling the fatty inside I am 1.5lb more than before it all. Which isn't hugely bad. And after 3 evenings in the gym I'm feeling better (although not weighing any less). And on Monday I've got another 5 days away on training.

My plan is now to get the next week out the way without gaining anything and then I'll get back to normal the following week. I do realise it's only a pound and a half, but I'm convinced I can feel it round my middle!

In other news I had an amazing holiday, have finally started feeling like I'm making real progress at work, and today I did something fairly big that I've been wanting to do for months and haven't had the guts. But I'll tell you about that next time because I don't want my lovely friends to know until they see me, it'll be more fun that way!

Now, it's Saturday night, it's late, and I'm signed up for a 28 mile cycle ride tomorrow. Yes, I am mad. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I hope it turns out to be more fun than Race for Life!

I know I owe you a month worth of tips, but this one is a good one. It's one that a lot of us forget to do, and it's something I've not done for a couple of months... until today.

My tip for today... Relax.

It's so easy to pack the weekend full of stuff. Stuff that fills the time. But sometimes the time shouldn't be filled. Sometimes you should be able to do your nails (broken nails are not a good look), have a hot chocolate and chill.

I used to feel the need to fill my time with stuff. Now I realise time filled with nothing can be very good for you too :)

And, coincidentally it is Sunday tomorrow. A day of rest I believe?

So everyone chill out.

I'll be in the middle of Wiltshire on a bike, but it's fine, you chill.... ;)

Love and hugs! :D

Monday, 23 August 2010

The best you can do?

Good Evening my lovely followers! I'm really pleased your numbers are multiplying! I'm in the double figures now, and I love each and every one of you for reading! Even if I just help someone with one blog it will be worth it.

So, this week I'm away from home and in a hotel for work. Which presents an interesting challenge. What to eat! I have no kitchen, obviously, and all food is provided in this hotel. And I'm going on holiday in just 2 weeks. No way am I risking those lovely summer clothes being too tight before I even leave the country!

At the end of day 1 I have remained almost in control. Bagel for breakfast, coffee by the gallon, a biscuit, some pretty rubbish sandwiches and 3 pieces of chocolate for lunch, and chicken with ratatouille and one "fondant" potato for my dinner. I don't know how bad the potato is, I've not much of a clue what the fanciness means, but I know I could have added cheesecake, a lot more biscuits and probably plenty of alcohol in there too already! And I've 3 more days to go.

I know there is a buffet breakfast and lunch so those should hopefully be easy enough, and I reckon if I pick wisely there I can get away with a bit more in the evening. So there's the plan!

Pick the best and hope for the best!

This is clearly a learning curve for me so I promise to keep you updated and to hopefully come up with some sort of useful info at the end of it!

Tomorrow night we've got a formal dress-up do, hope it's not too naughty!

Never thought I'd care so much about the calories! At least there's a gym here! ;)

Friday, 20 August 2010

You've got to move it, move it!

Good evening everyone! :)

I am multi-tasking. Big Brother and blogging!

So I was thinking hard on the way home this evening about what to blog about today, and about what I have struggled with the most in my quest for slim-ness.

Ironically, one of the things I found hardest to achieve is now one of the most enjoyable aspects of my life and something which has given me a lot of confidence in myself.

Did you guess what it is yet?

I'm sure you did....

Oh yes. It's all about the exercise!!

My tip for today? Find a way of moving more that you ENJOY!!

I realise that this can seem an impossible feat. By now you should all know enough about me to guess how little exercise I actually did. Just walking up the stairs in my house made me so out of breath I'd have to have a rest at the top! When I started losing weight I forced myself to go to the gym whilst absolutely hating it, but once I started seeing the results it was slightly easier to force myself to go. But forcing yourself to exercise for the sake of losing weight is never going to last. If something isn't enjoyable you won't keep doing it. We all know that.

To make my tip plausible I recommend... Body Combat!

Body Combat is the most fun exercise class I've ever done! Any exercise class is fun (I never thought I'd say that), and the benefit of a class is that you have to keep going until the end. No giving up! I never get bored in a class because every four or five minutes there is a new track on the stereo and something different to do. You get a brilliant all over workout in most classes and you WILL notice the difference.

Now, I know what you're thinking. You don't want to go on your own. Honestly, most people do. You won't be the only one on your own, and after a couple of weeks you'll be chatting to everyone else. It's normally the same people each week so you'll get to know them a bit.

So that's it for today. Exercise is fun. It makes you feel good about yourself and improves your body, which, in turn, improves your confidence. There are so many different types of exercise out there that there will definitely be something you enjoy - whether it's lovely calming yoga or heart-pumping high intensity aerobics!

Stay positive :)

Thursday, 19 August 2010

Nearly the weekend munchies...

Hello my lovely followers!

I have 8 of you now. I'm so proud! :D

I apologise profusely for a lack of blogging yesterday, however I'm offering two for the price of one this evening!

I came home from work yesterday, made my dinner, went to Body Combat, came home and got changed and went off to the cinema with the boyf, and ate my dinner in the car on the way! Got home at midnight and was shattered! And tiredness has inspired my blog this evening...

I've got... the munchies!!! Noooooooooooo!

But never fear, followers! We can cope with this! Let us review the situation. I've been to the gym, I've worked hard (albeit sitting on my bum all day!), and I've not been too naughty this week. Plus I've got exercise planned into my weekend (and a charity abseil down a 300ft gorge - 1000 calories in nervous energy alone!), so we won't panic just yet.

This is my first tip for today. Before you panic, think!! A little slip won't hurt. A bloody big one might. So if you give in to that little bit of chocolate or cake, don't throw in the towel and stuff your face! It'll only make you feel worse.

My second tip for this evening is: choose wisely! Quite frankly, when I've got the munchies I want to eat and eat, then eat some more! Now, something nibbly is better than something not in this situation. You need something that lasts a while, at least until the munching subsides. So, my recommendation? Raspberries!! I know, I know, it's fruit. Boring! But it's not! A punnet of raspberries contain a LOT less calories than a bag of chocolates, and they'll last just as long. At the moment they are seriously yummy, and they are lovely with yogurt so try dipping them into a low fat yogurt (I like vanilla) for a bit more flavour!

I'm sure from my somewhat rambling style it is clear I am rather tired this evening. So, to recap...
Stop. Think. Then choose your munchies wisely. Step away from the situation, take control (and a deep breath if you need to, applicable to many other situations also I'm sure!), then make a considered choice.

You can munch and stay smiley! :)

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

If I can do it, ANYONE can.

Yes, even you. Especially you! (If there's anyone reading of course!)

You can all see the "fat" photo at the bottom of the blog, and it should give you some clue as to just how bad my eating habits were. Think family size takeaways, huge bars of Dairy Milk chocolate and slabs of cake! And that was just for dinner ;)

In all honesty, my eating habits were ridiculous. I ate excessively, unhealthily, and quite frankly I was just plain greedy. I believed, and to some extent will always believe, that food equals happiness. But whereas now a little treat can cheer me up, no matter how much I ate it never actually made me happy. The habit was a comfort, the clothes shopping tears and embarrassment at my size after were most certainly not.

In the two years it took me to lose the four and a half stone I learnt so many things about myself and about the relationship I have with food, and I know that the most important element of losing weight and keeping it off is changing your habits. It does take time, and to some degree you must fight those old habits and learn new, healthier ones. But it can be done.

To really demonstrate just how much my diet has changed I'm going to list my typical daily menu before and after. The important thing to remember here is that whenever I am hungry, I eat, and I have at least one treat a day because food still makes me happy and my mind still thinks about it most of the time!

                              Then                                                   Now
                          Breakfast                                           Breakfast
4 slices white toast with margarine & cheese       Bagel & low fat cheese
                            Snack                                                  Snack
                Bag of Walkers crisps                             Special K cereal bar

                           Lunch                                                   Lunch  
   Pasta n Sauce, sandwich, chocolate bar            Salad/cous cous/chicken,
                                                                                  low fat yogurt
                            Snack                                                  Snack
             Chocolate or cake/flapjack             WW cake/biscuits and coffee
                          Dinner                                                  Dinner
                  Chinese takeaway:                               Chinese takeaway:
                        Fried rice                                               Boiled rice
         Sweet and sour chicken (battered)               Vegetable chow mein
              Chicken with mushrooms                      Handful of prawn crackers
                       Spring roll
                      Before bed                                            Before bed
          Half a 250g bar of Dairy Milk                      Options hot chocolate

To be honest it's hard to remember exactly what I'd eat in a day, I'd take a lot of trips to the kitchen cupboard if I was sitting at home so it'd probably be more than what I've listed. But you can see that I'm still eating a lot, just not a lot of rubbish!

I hope all that is helpful to someone.

My tip for today is recognise your habits. Once you know where your weakness is, fight it! Find a way of substituting if you need to - I substitute chocolate with Options when I know I haven't really been good enough to eat chocolate - and soon you'll be out of the habit.

Control your habits, don't let them control you :D

Monday, 16 August 2010

Self indulgence of the blogging kind...

It occurred to me today that blogging is really an excuse for everyone to indulge themselves and whinge about their life to the blank space that is the internet.

And yet here I am.

I will make a conscious effort to provide some sort of helpful tip for each post I make to give all my (imaginary) readers some added value! We all know it's about adding the value these days.

So. Off I go.

Today I've been mentally beating myself up about my (very) naughty weekend. So lets review the bad things I consumed in order to either reinforce my worries or quash them! On Friday night we went to La Carbonara (Swindon, Italian restaurant, oh so yummy and fantastic service, go there!) where I had garlic mushrooms, seafood linguine and berry tart with cream. Ouch. Points crisis right there. Oh, and I had a muffin at work Friday afternoon. Then Saturday. Had a fairly healthy lunch so we won't dwell on that, but then another muffin (they are the medium size ones, blueberry, about 4.5 points a pop), and nachos in Wetherspoons, along with approximately 5 cocktails in the evening (although next time I will definitely be sticking to the vodka and diet coke because I felt stupidly sober). Sunday began with a bagel with peanut butter and then yet another muffin and coffee. Then I had a salad for lunch which had tons of feta cheese in and sour cream on top. And a handful of chips. We had a BBQ at dinner time but that was just one bread roll and then chicken and salad so not too bad.

Now. I suppose it could have been worse. But it also could have been better. And with the holiday less than 3 weeks away and 2 weeks in a hotel for training courses for work before then I should really be behaving myself! I've been to the gym this evening though...

Ok, reprimanding over with. 

In light of that rant my tip for today is don't go overboard because it's the weekend. And if you do, get your bum in the gym and work it off!

(I'll let you know whether this works at the end of the week ;-) )

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Sunday evening revelation...

So I'm not sure what blogging etiquette is... Is it allowed to blog twice in one day?!

Anyway, it's important.

I just realised quite how fat I was.

Dear God, why on Earth didn't I know?!

Had an email requesting a full length before photo for the WW thing, so off I went into the depths of my computer for a full length fatty shot. Now, for obvious reasons these are few and far between, and now I realise why.


I will be staying away from the muffins this week!

Welcome to my world!

It's all about the cliche's tonight!

If anyone is reading, hello! If it's just me, well then I'm talking to myself and they do say it's the first sign of madness. Says rather a lot in my opinion.

So, introductions! My name is Hannah. I am currently 22 years and 9 months old and I have been at my goal weight for almost 6 months. The photo at the top left of my blog is from the Weight Watchers fashion show I took part in this week - more about that later - and the photos at the bottom are my before and after! I have a boyfriend who has been putting up with me for almost four and a half years now, and whose patience and understanding kept me on the wagon and got me to my goal.

Soppy stuff over now. I promise.

I think I should give you a quick overview of my weight loss journey to introduce us properly, so here goes. My "before" photo is from September 2007. I was that size until December when I decided enough was enough and that this time I really was going to lose weight. Yes, it had been said numerous times before, and quite frankly even I didn't believe it. On the 1st of January 2008 I went on a diet. I'd tried Slimming World more times than I care to count so stuck to what I knew and started following their eating plan. Two weeks later I went along to a class with my Mum and got weight. 15st 7.5lb. Given that I'd been following the diet for 2 weeks already this was rather awful.

It took me until March to lose my first stone. I'd stopped going to the classes because I found them less than motivational and felt I was wasting my money, quite frankly. The next few months were periods of following the plan interspersed with nights out and trips away "off plan" (because it's just so hard to stick to the plan when eating out!) and so by September 2008 I'd lost 1st 7lb very slowly. At this point the boyf and I went off to Ibiza for a week, and from here until Christmas I struggled to stick to the plan and regained 7lb.

January came around again and I got back on plan. Still struggling and falling off the wagon rather often I managed to lose the 7lb I'd gained plus another 7lb by July. On the 8th of July 2009 my wonderful Gran died, and I was devastated. I cried and cried and when it didn't make things any better I went to the gym. Between July and September I stuck to plan completely, went to the gym regularly and lost... nothing. The sadness coupled with the frustration of not losing weight forced me into depression and I became so worried about what I was eating that it became easier not to eat than to eat and worry about it. Luckily it didn't take me long to realise that I needed to take control and change things. So on the 8th of October 2009 I joined Weight Watchers.

In my first week I lost 5lb and I cried with relief. That week I promised myself I would never gain, and I didn't. I even lost 2.5lb over Christmas! Counting points gave me control over my eating again and I learned to control my portions whilst treating myself too. I reached my goal weight on the 22nd February 2010 and I have never been happier.

I struggled to lose weight my entire life, and to be honest I never thought I'd get there. Losing weight changed my life completely. It gave me confidence and it made me happy with myself, which makes me a happy person. And this is why I want to share it all with you lovely people! I want you all to know the total change losing weight affected in me and the life it gave me. Although I do have a few wobbly bits ;)

And there we go! That's my story!

I think that's probably enough info to be going on with. I'm off to Tesco to collect my Dad's free Elvis CD from the Mail on Sunday.

Oh, the glamorous life I lead! ;)